If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
