That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
