Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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