The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
