Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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