and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize