After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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