these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he wants to bone in the snuggie
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
