his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize