So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
