After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
