apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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