Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
