More tranny stories later!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
