p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The air taste purple.
Randomize
