So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize