I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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