i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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