Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
