You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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