it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
