pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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