hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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