Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
