I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
