can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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