I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
