I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
