dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
