you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm always down for nudity.
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