YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
