You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
