I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
