oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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