Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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