i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
