Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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