I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
