she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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