garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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