Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
