i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
