I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Tbh Iām not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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