I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
