Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
nutella sex= disaster
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
