the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
