Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
