honey bunches of taint.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
