Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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