We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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