Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
pray to the hookup gods
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
