I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
