are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
