I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Say something about gay babies.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
