dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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