I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
