It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize