Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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