I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
