omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My dick has a subreddit
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
