Nicole vs. Life
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
