yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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