i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
