and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
