Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
