I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
