I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
the liver wants what the liver wants
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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