Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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