what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
