my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Randomize
